Opening your eyes

Opening my eyes in a sunny morning. Yeah, that’s the best feeling ever, I swear! But opening your eyes in a sunny morning naked, next to your maths teacher is definetly not something funny.

Well, even I can’t really explain myself how I ended up in Collin’s – sorry, Mr. Marsting’s – bed, I remember quite well the rest. Starting from the point when he broke my necklace to that amazing moment…

Would you regret it? Because I certainly don’t. I usually feel guilty when I do something like this. Like my mom could see me right now and would look dissapointed, I was terrified of that look since I was a child and I still feel like I don’t want to make my mom feel bad because of me. That’s who I grew up to be : someone who needs to reach others standards. From time to time, I feel like I’m going to explode, but somehow I mananged not to untill now, with this kind of little breaks. As far as I remember, making out with a teacher in front of half of the town and ending up in his bed is the worst thing I’ve done so far. Sorry mom.

Am I ready to see the judging faces of people who might have seen us? No, but it’s not like I have a choice… I’m usually the outsider so I might be used to not be seen as the perfect girl my parents would like me to be. Beeing rich, smart or beautiful doesn’t really help when you can’t find a single human beeing that would like to really know you for who you are.

Or maybe that’s what I tried to prove. That I finally found someone who understand’s me, even is so different, even we shouldn’t be more than teacher and student. Maybe I just needed someone to prove the others that I do have a heart. I do have feelings. I can get hurt and I can be loved. I needed someone to help me show the others I can be myself. Even he is the only one who saw me for real, he is the prove, my prove for myself that I’m not just a broken person, I can be fixed.

He proves this to the world and, eventually, to myself, if I will ever be able to truly believe I’m normal.

_____________________________________________

Well, I should think about the consequences of a teacher-student relationship as well, right?

Let me feel loved for a moment, reader! Even if it’s only in my head!

Hope you enjoyed and…It’s my first english one-shot so I expect you to find plenty of grammar mystakes, don’t hesistate to tell me if so…🙂

 

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